Stop saying "Sorry" when you mean "Thank You"

How many times per day do you say sorry?

What we say and how often we say it is so important.

It affects the way we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us.

Apologizing profusely is an insidious example of this.

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Sorry that I'm always late.

I don't know how to explain it, I'm not making sense, sorry.

Um, I have a quick question, sorry.

I'm sorry, I don't know if this is exactly how you wanted it, but I tried.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

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What message does apologizing constantly send?

It is not okay for me to be human.

It is not okay for me to make mistakes.

My existence is bothersome.

Me having needs is unacceptable.

Everyone else’s needs and wants are more important than mine.

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Additionally, when we apologize repeatedly, it puts the other person in the position of having to reassure us.

That we don't suck,

we aren't a terrible friend,

we do know how to do our job,

and so on.

This can be straining to and challenging in the relationship, which is the opposite of what we're trying to do when apologizing.

Chances are you care deeply about that relationship, job, other people in general, and are trying to be respectful/considerate/a good person/etc.

And there are ways to do this that do not undermine your needs or put the other person in a challenging position.

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Instead of apologizing, say: Thank You!

I'm sorry I'm always late! ↠ Thanks for waiting for me!

Sorry to bother you, I just have a question about this. ↠ I have a question. ...Thanks for answering it!

Sorry for the inconvenience, but I need to reschedule. ↠ I need to reschedule this appointment. Thanks for being flexible!

I forgot to bring the physical card, could you put in my phone number for the rewards points? Sorry. ↠ I don’t have the card, but it would be great if you would put in my phone number? Thanks so much!

Excuse me, sorry, I just need to get past. ↠ Excuse me. Thanks!

Sorry but could I have some ketchup? ↠ Could I please have some ketchup? Thank you.

Sorry I'm not making sense, I'm being annoying, sorry. ↠ Thank you for listening.

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There is a good chance that most of the things we apologize for, we don’t actually need to be sorry about.

If you hurt someone, by all means apologize.

But don’t apologize for being human.

To constantly say sorry for our existence sends the message that we are burdensome.

And that’s just not true.

Your thoughts, opinions, needs, and wants matter.

People want to hear them.

(And if they don't, do not apologize because they're a jerk!)

So, share!

Unapologetically.

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What would it be like to apologize less?

What about saying thank you instead of sorry?

What message would it send to yourself and to those around you?

How would it change the way you think and feel about yourself?

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You don’t need to feel bad for having needs or taking up space.

You don’t need to feel bad for being yourself.

You don’t need to apologize for existing.

You are okay.

You got this.

Be kind to yourself.✦

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Note: If you feel like you are struggling with these things to a degree that is affecting your life, it may be time to see a mental health professional, if you are not already!If you are in crisis, call 911, the Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255), or text Crisis Text Line (text ‘Help’ to 741-741).

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Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute as therapy.